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MY STORY
Hi, my name is Ghanwa! I was born in Abu Dhabi, where my family moved from Pakistan. I'm the youngest of four siblings. Growing up, I was a naive and innocent child, just like all children are. I remember hiding under the table at night with my friend during a sleepover and squeezing grapes, one by one, to make grape juice, when there was plenty of grape juice in the fridge. I recall saving the worms from being stepped on and chasing ladybugs. And, don't get me started on my bug collection!
At the beginning of grade 2, my family packed up their bags and moved to Vancouver in Canada for better opportunities. It was a sacrifice my parents made as immigrants with no family or friends here, and I'm grateful for it to this day. Though it was meant to be a new chapter in our lives, I recall being bullied for the the beautiful black hair on my arms and bringing the most delicious curries for lunch. What can I say, my parents wanted to make sure we were well fed. A year later, we moved to Toronto. I remember experiencing one of my first winters and made a gazillion snow angels. I also made the mistake of running my cold hands under hot water immediately after, something I wouldn't recommend.
I remember when 9/11 happened, my grade 4 teacher asked me if my parents were happy about the twin towers in a class discussion. We were all too young to have realized the weight of what happened. I was severely bullied for my hijab and religion, and remember feeling immense shame to have my culture and religion so obviously displayed on me. I was bullied for my thick eyebrows and oily hair. I had my hijab snatched off and was pushed down the hill near my school portables. I endured a lot of abuse growing up, and didn't think anyone would believe me, let along help make it stop. So, I succumbed and took the bullying. It took me years to find the strength, courage, and confidence to stand up for myself in my authentic self, and it's still something I consistently work on.
Things at home got quite difficult, and I made the bold decision to leave home at the age of 16 to maintain a safe environment for myself. I lived at a youth shelter, which was very scary for me as a young teenager. I'll save you the horror stories! Eventually, I applied for welfare and found a roommate to rent out a basement to create my own independence. Throughout my teenage years, I was severely depressed and lived to survive. I had a lack of sense of belonging and missed the feeling of having a community.
At 17, I thought I found the love of my life, got married to my high school sweetheart and became a teen mom. The struggles I experienced from domestic abuse gave me the fuel to stay resilient and not give up. At 18, I was hospitalized and diagnosed with bipolar disorder 2 and post traumatic stress disorder. This was the beginning of my 12-year mental health journey and counting.
After many attempts, I was finally able to put my mental health, our safety, and the wellbeing of my son first and left my toxic marriage of three years. At 21, I found myself unable to maintain a job, single, and going back and forth between family and criminal court for three years. I was at my lowest point and attempted sucide. As a survivor, I can tell you my immediate thought "I want to live" and I am so grateful to higher power that I still have my breath.
I found a "Ray" (that's my son's name) of light and decided to take a chance on myself. I gave life another shot. I completed my GED, attended workshops that taught me life skills, and was successfully selected for a scholarship. I was able to go back to college, where I successfully graduated with two diplomas in Community Services Worker and Law Clerk, and two certifications in Indigenous Studies and Contact Center Operations.
While I was on scholarship completing my studies, I found a student worker position on campus and shortly after was promoted to faculty within months. One day at a time, one step at a time, I started to build a life for my son and I. This is around the time leveraged social media and launched my brand where I was able to generate different revenues of income through content creation, public speaking, coaching, workshops, and more. I was featured in the Toronto Star, The Kit, multiple podcasts and in the film documentary #SelfHelp discussing the Canadian health care system and mental health accessibility, and more. After graduation, I secured a job at my dream company, an award-winning bank, and was promoted twice within 6 months of joining. I was successfully able to get my son and I out of the welfare system.
We were finally safe and stable.
As I continued to excel at my job and live independently, I felt a sense of accomplishment and stability that I had never felt before. I was able to provide for myself and my son without relying on welfare or standing in line at food banks anymore. We were finally out of the entrapping system; some never do.
Despite the progress I have made, I still struggle with my mental health. The memories of abuse and trauma continue to weigh on me, and I often found myself struggling with panic attacks and bouts of depression. But instead of giving up, I used these challenges as fuel to continue pushing forward. I find reasons to live every day, and one of those reasons is to be of service to others.
One of the most precious part of my healing journey has been mending the relationship with my father, and gaining an amazing stepfamily in the process. I now have three supportive sisters who have blessed me with two adorable nephews who zoom around like lightning McQueen, and a niece, who believes she is Elsa from Frozen with ice powers (shhh...don't tell her Elsa is not real). I gained a beautiful mother figure in my stepmom who physically carried me off the floor and massaged the feelings back into my limbs when I unexpectedly went through my severe panic attacks episode for months.
Most importantly, I finally got the type of love I yearned from my father. He has shown me time and time again that he will always be there, rain or shine. Together, we continue to heal each other. I am proud to say I broke the stigma behind mental illness in my family, something that is taboo for many South Asian families. We have bridged our cultural and generational gap to build a cohesive family and lead by example for the next generation.
After years of therapy over the past 12 years, my educational background as a CSW, endless research, ample readings, and tons of trial and error, I was able to pull through. I built my community and learned to ask for help. Little by little, I developed my own handy dandy toolkit that I could use to help myself through difficult times. And, as I continued to heal and grow, I realized that I wanted to be there for others who were going through similar struggles.
That's why I decided to become a resilience coach. I wanted to use my own experiences to help others find the strength and resilience they needed to overcome their own challenges and find healing and peace.
As a public speaker and content creator on social media, I began sharing my story and offering tips and tools for others to create their own toolkits of knowledge and wisdom. And before I knew it, I had gained a following of over 11,000 people who were inspired by my journey and my message of hope and healing.
Today, I continue to work as a resilience coach, using my own experiences, education, and my toolkit of knowledge and wisdom to help others find the strength and resilience they need to overcome their own challenges to find healing and peace. And, though our healing journey may not look linear, I know that with the right tools and the right support, we can all find our way back to ourselves and live a life filled with joy, purpose, and meaning.
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